For some reason according to Russian editions about dogs almost nobody writes about the death of a beloved four-footed friend. Perhaps this is right: no need to chafe a wounded heart since this will happen anyway. Better not to think about this and living in the calm present. But I was astonished looking through English cynology journals and noticing a regularity. In each of issues published during several years I saw a column "Obituary" with a photo of a deceased dog and the words its owners wanted to say. Very often I saw a header "Losing a friend" in which different authors (veterinaries, psychotherapists, ethologists) shared their experience, gave advices to owners (e.g. what to do if the mate of the dead dog misses it). And it seemed to me that, perhaps, there's a better way than silence and the owners need some support and understanding when their dog dies. Here is what English cynologist write:
"Bitterness and pain follow any death. Any true dog-fancier feels a heavy emptiness inside his heart long after his dog dies. He feels regret that could do something in another way, give more love and attention. It comes to your mind how you once made her go to the place in anger when she took you a ball to play... Or that weekend when you didn't go for a long-expected delightful walk because you had to leave suddenly for business and now you remember how she looked at you... A mash of thoughts fills your mind: "What if...", "I could do more..." All this is also a part of our grief only time can cure. Every owner knows that.
Sometimes losing their adorable dog people stand by his memory and decide no clumsy pup to enter their house. It's hard to choose between love to a funny muzzle, little tail and four legs, and the faith to the former friend. There'll be a new parting and a new pain - people live longer than dogs. But only imagine happiness that waits for you if you will again give your heart to a big-footed awkward baby dog. A remarkable expert on dog behavior, Konrad Lorenz, in his book "Man Meets Dog" described this as follows: "In a human life any joy is paid in sorrow... and I consider a person who denies himself some available pure pleasures harmless from the ethic point of view only for fear that sooner or later life will present a bill for them to be a dead man.
If you lose a dog and right after that you take a puppy of the same breed then, if the normal course of events, you will soon see that it'll fill the emptiness of your heart and life that appeared after the departure of your old four-footed friend.
When we lose a dog, we lose our future of living together. Never again will it come to your bed to wake you up pushing you impatiently with its wet nose or delicately licking your face. No more peaceful walks together... After the friend's death a man lives as if in a fog. To get out of this state English psychologists suggest:
"Do not restrain your feelings when in the circle of your folks. Let yourself sound off.
"Each man has his own attitude to loss. You son may play with his friends while you can't find soothing with anything in this life. This is because you feel different.
"Some people may deliberately hurt you when try to calm and say: "This is just a dog".
"Often a man runs away by being absorbed in work. Perhaps, this helps much. But don't forget about your family. They feel the same pain as yours. Don't hide from them inside your loneliness.
When there are several dogs in the house, especially if they are friends with each other, one more problem emerges: an animal may suffer much when his friend suddenly disappears. At a walk a dog may tug the leash vigorously when sees a dog at the distance that resembles his ex-pal. Of course, you can't explain that is not your faithful Jack. In this situation an approved method may help: get a puppy of the same breed. If your dog is used to living together with another dog and to form one small pack, he will suffer much when stays alone. Most probably, he will patronize a young newcomer and rear him in accordance with his own rules.
Be sure you'll be happy again when your fanged fortune will meet you at front door with his tail wagging furiously and joyfully whining.
materials prepared by Elena Pugacheova, Translated by Tatiana Karpova (Moscow)
(MSU, Biology faculture, Dep. zoology and ecology).